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The Bakery now has a Soundcloud profile, which currently hosts our complete BBC Radio Kent series. For those unfamiliar with Soundcloud, it’s like a kind of YouTube for audio, meaning our audio output at last has the kind of interconnected platform our videos have had for years. To celebrate, here’s a rare track originally composed for my 21st, featuring Tom “Baffin Island” German, Dan “Rustic Knives” Fryer, and the legendary Rob “Codes in the Clouds” Smith on guitar. Remember, “the only way to fight a giant is to hit him with rocks between the eyes.”

Advent calendar 7: The Battle of Marathon

On the seventh day of Christmas, The Bakery gave to me: A failed attempt to get on BBC Radio 4 Last year, myself and Chef Dan wrote a couple of comedy sketches for a relatively rare window of opportunity at BBC Radio 4. The brief being to write material that in some way included communication using modern technology. We suspected that everyone else would submit scripts about annoying ring tones on the bus and malfunctioning Sat Navs, so we were adamant to take a different approach. Our first sketch then, was a reimagining of the ancient Battle of Marathon. Only this time, Pheidippides has issues summoning the Spartan reinforcements in time… This was the sketch that received the most positive feedback from the script editor via producer Ed Morrish. It was included in their ‘yes’ pile and lined-up for inclusion in the rehearsal script ahead of recording. The rehearsal scripts apparently include twice as much material as is actually needed. So, by this stage your sketch has exactly a 50% chance of getting in the programme. If successful, the actors would record it in front of an audience, and you would receive a writer’s credit and a fee, in...

New Konkers sketch 2: Konkers USA

The second of our two specially-produced features to mark Konkers’ impending 5th birthday. It’s time to reveal all to you. After several months of flying backwards and forwards to Los Angeles for business lunches, I have finally reached a lucrative agreement with a major production company. Konkers is at last gearing up to join the vast catalogue of British programmes that have been soullessly adapted for the American market. Featuring voices peculiarly similar to those of Al Boyagis, Richard Dadd, Jan Grimshaw and Gate Lambert First broadcast on CSR FM 10th Nov 2011 God bless America  

New Konkers sketch 1: Geoff Island’s job interview

The first of two brand new sketches marking the 5th anniversary of Konkers. It’s high time we caught up with Geoff Island. These days he’s a Konkerbury graduate, looking for work in David Cameron’s Britain. Let’s find out how he’s getting on… Written by Richard Dadd Edited by Dan Fryer Geoff Island………..Richard Dadd Mark Tressle……………Al Boyagis First broadcast on CSR FM –  27th Oct 2011

Konkers concludes

Konkers concludes its fifth anniversary retrospective this evening, with Episode Six on CSR FM. In classic CSR style there have been a few hiccups along the way, but it’s been great to get the show back on the airwaves. Thanks to everyone for listening, and for CSR for being kind enough to champion Konkers and promote the repeats. Immediately after tonight’s 6pm news bulletin there will be the second (and last) of our brand new Konkers sketches, followed by episode 6 itself. For those of you unable to listen, fear not, both of the new sketches will be available to hear on this blog very soon!

Never-before-heard Konkers is, erm, still not heard

Listeners to CSR FM may have been left a little bewildered on Thursday. After dropping off air for a week, Konkers did play out with Episode 3 but, unfortunately, there was no sign of the new additional material that we had produced especially. It’s all rather perplexing and a little disappointing. CSR was frequently unpredictable in the past, but I thought those days were over. Casual listeners this week experienced no introduction, no continuity announcements, nor indeed any acknowledgements from the DJs at the end of the previous show as to what was coming up next. The show was orphaned on the airwaves, with Geoff’s opening monologue bizarrely adrift coming directly after the news bulletin. It amuses me to imagine some unsuspecting lorry driver or kebab shop owner tuning into the professional news bulletin, only to have it inexplicably followed, without a lead-in, by Geoff Island’s little voice umm-ing and ahh-ing about Mr Owl and his unrequited love for Maggie. If CSR clarifies what went wrong, or indeed what’s going on, we shall be the first to tell you about it. UPDATE: CSR played out the introduction (including the new Geoff sketch) a week later, re-edited to fit alongside...

Konkers rescheduled.

Last-minute news just in from CSR is that Konkers episode 3 and the special new feature will not be broadcast this week as scheduled. The Bakery kitchen delivered all the ingredients, but alas it seems CSR were too busy to turn the oven on. The studio has been e-mailed asking for an announcement at 6pm, but nothing appeared on air.

Brand new Geoff Island!

It’s been far too long since we last caught up with him. Ladies and gentlemen, I’m delighted to announce that Geoff Island is back! How is he coping in this post-University land of rioters, David Cameron and economic recession? Thursday 6pm (repeated Sunday 11pm) Our thanks again to Daryl Smith for being kind enough to ask for Konkers to return in this way for the show’s (nearly) fifth birthday. This brand new, never-before-heard mini special will be followed by episode three, as the show continues its repeat run.

Konkers retrospective continues…

Konkers continues its fifth anniversary repeat run on Canterbury’s community station CSR FM tonight. Episode 2 broadcasts at 6pm on 97.4fm (East Kent) or There will be no special features accompanying episode 2, but following on from last week’s phone interview, there shall indeed be some brand new Konkers material broadcasting alongside episodes later on in the run. We’ll keep you updated… In the mean time: the freshers of Konkerbury are settling in for their first week of lectures. But what are the mysterious goings-on in the sinister campus library? Will we ever hear from Peter Farthings again? And just how will Walter the Oxbridge reject cope with all these regional accents?

Return to Konkerbury

Good news for fans of our classic University-based sitcom Konkers! CSR FM is celebrating the show’s fifth birthday by serving up a landmark re-run of every episode – with some BRAND NEW features! I won’t say too much, but I can reveal that we will be hearing from a post-University Geoff Island later in the run. Episode one airs tonight preceded by the first of the special features – a phone interview with myself, conducted by current Head of Speech Daryl Smith. After all those phone interviews I conducted with celebs for the Gulbenkian Podcast, now the tables have turned. Here’s hoping I’m not rambling and incoherent. The return of Konkers has even made front page news at and those good chaps have even seen fit to include our Konkerbury promotional video. Cheers guys! Thursday at 6pm on 97.4 CSR FM (repeated Sunday 11pm)