Google rewrites classic literature

Not intent on plundering the human race’s entire literary canon, Google have now taken the audacious step of rewriting the literary classics. As Dan and I read great novels into YouTube, the new Google Transcribe Audio (which claims to provide a written transcript of any video) clearly decided to “improve” upon them…

The Bakery  1 – 0  Google


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  1. The Veritable Tom Mathias


    It’ll be interesting to see how the translation of the original video changes as the Google translator changes in the future.

    Choosing to do Great Gatsby in the accent was a wise choice, as it highlights a reason why it seems to the remain the most intact.

    1984; but it wasn’t.

  2. I feel the quality of my American accent has been validated by the fact that the xenophobic Google audio transcription seems to translate ‘The Great Gatsby’ more accurately than the others.

    • Miranda

      I feel the quality of your American accent is crap. Unless my eighth grade teacher forgot to mention that F. Scott Fitzgerald was in fact a fat woman who spoke with a Southern twang, which is what your accent suggests he was, your accent is the furthest thing from being a marker of any kind of validation. How could you have desecrated such a great piece of American literature? I am genuinely offended by this as ‘The Great Gatsby’ is one of my favorite novels. The Bakery has lost one of its greatest fans today (me). Furthermore, I’d say Google’s xenophobic ways are justified strictly based upon how God awful your American accent was. American’s are never xenophobic, especially small cottage industries like Google.

      • Richard Dadd

        This from a country that brought us Dick Van Dyke’s “cockney” and Kevin Costner’s… er… “Nottinghamshire” accent in Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves.

        Compared to them I’m a veritable (House-era) Hugh Laurie!

  3. What of the mandible?!
    I’m in tears in the library thanks to you people.

  4. Geodaddi

    I’ve just realised that Chaucer must have been using Google software! Dan, – we really need a rendition of Chaucer from you to see if it holds any secrets……… Perhaps there are hidden messages that he knew we would be able to unlock in the 21st Century.

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