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On the seventeenth day of Christmas,
The Bakery gave to me:
A belated teaser trailer

My name is Adam. I am extremely sorry I am late. I will give all the other chefs a fiver as recompense. Here is a song I found which I quite like…

On the sixteenth day of Christmas,
The Bakery gave to me:
Middle class problems (the dissertation)

It was the dissertation that didn’t want to be written
It was foremost in my thinking at the time
I was fresh out of college
And chock–full of knowledge
So the idea came to me
To do a PhD

But what to think? What to do?
There’s been buckets done on Proust
Shelves of Melville
Mounds of Milton
Jurisprudence and ‘the Truth’

And there’s been heaps and heaps
On Shelley and on Keats
A raft of work on Goethe
And that’s just the work on Werther

On Foucaldian power discourses
On lateral blowholed porpoises
On post-colonial literature
Satire, Wit and Caricature

A library of work on Wittgenstein
A barrage concerned with Frankenstein
The female in the Gothic
And the meaning of erotic

Hitler’s march on Stalingrad
The biology of the lily pad
The Reichstag Fire
Medieval lire
The Jadoons of Abbottabad

Wheat growth in the Caucuses
The strength of Norman fortresses
Factions in the Politburo
And the intricate truths of Diderot

Sartre’s bleak and dismal thoughts
The role of the judge in modern tort
Abdominal cramps in the under tens
And spotted newts in the Cambridge fens

And so it fell to me to choose
A topic of vision, clarity and truth
A topic that would change the world
And like a dawning day the thought unfurled:

‘Female emancipation amongst Huguenot weavers in 19th Century Whitechapel’

Tom German has once again failed us all by not posting up his advent blog post in due time. If anybody knows his whereabouts they should contact us immediately.

From this photographic evidence it is feared he may currently be trapped in a gladiatorial arena in ancient Greece.

So in the mean time, please enjoy this video of some people who have been inspired by our antics…

On the fourteenth day of Christmas,
The Bakery gave to me:
A much anticipated bit of work by Chefs Dan and Gate,
featuring special guest appearances by other chefs (can you spot them?)
and the Bakery blog itself!

That’s right, it’s finally here! Please post it on your walls, tweet it, digg it, like it, share it, tumblr it, talk about it to your aunt Nelly… and tell her to pass it on too! We’re really happy with it and quite proud, so now let’s get seen by as many people as possible!

On the eleventh day of Christmas,
The Bakery gave to me:
Three excellent but unrelated comedy sketches

My initial plan for today’s post has been temporarily shelved, but fortunately I have an entertaining Plan B ready for you. Appointing myself a British Comedy connoisseur, I have extensively sampled a wide crop of sketches in order to hand-pick a trio of organic, free range, treat-yourself comedy sketches which you may not be familiar with.

To get the ball rolling, we shall start off with a sketch that has the most festive flavour, featuring as it does that nice Jesus fella. It also features Stewart Lee. As I understand it, Jesus and Stew get along famously. They even collaborated on an opera.

This sketch makes me wish Stewart Lee featured as a regular character in the actual Bible. His presence would make it a much more entertaining (and better thought-through) read.

No, not “ah!”

Next up, Christmas often features friends and families sitting around playing board games. So here’s a favourite sketch of mine, about Russian Roulette…

Okay, no matter how hard I try I can’t really contrive a Christmas connection to the next sketch. But it does have a personal resonance, as it concerns voice recognition technology. Anyone who has ever witnessed me speaking to an automated phone service will be able to attest that for some bizarre reason my mild West Midlands tones appear to be utterly incomprehensible to them. How Noddy Holder manages I have no idea.