New Konkers sketch 2: Konkers USA

The second of our two specially-produced features to mark Konkers’ impending 5th birthday.

It’s time to reveal all to you. After several months of flying backwards and forwards to Los Angeles for business lunches, I have finally reached a lucrative agreement with a major production company. Konkers is at last gearing up to join the vast catalogue of British programmes that have been soullessly adapted for the American market.


Featuring voices peculiarly similar to those of Al Boyagis, Richard Dadd, Jan Grimshaw and Gate Lambert

First broadcast on CSR FM 10th Nov 2011

God bless America



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  1. Andy Van

    Spot on parody, can’t get enough of Geoff Island. Why isn’t this on the tellybox yet?

    • Cheers! I’m delighted you can’t get enough of Geoff. I’m sorry it’s taken me so long to bring him out to play, this time. Maybe one day, in the future, I’ll get a chance to put him before TV cameras and upset the nation…

  2. Geodaddi

    So right to keep this British!!!!

  3. Mandate Westenhanger!!! Carriage Larson!!! Hahaha, oh dear god you’ve given me a hernia.

  4. Naomi Peach

    Dude….! This was, like, totally awesome man!
    I loved it and I laughed so loud I probably made my neighbours jump!
    Look Out…! Slapstick!!!

  5. Excellent! Thanks Naomi. We have a long standing mission to startle your neighbours as much as possible. Glad to see our plan is working.

    Also, I’m sure you enjoyed your sister’s cameo as a blonde bimbo. It wasn’t a huge stretch for her.

  6. The Yank from Badiddley Boink, Oda Idaho

    Alright, I’ve got a lot of commenting to catch up on and where better to start than a post involving America.

    First on the technical aspect of the sketch: you guys did an amazing job. The whole feel of it–the song choices, the writing, and all the fancy sound editing magic I lack the vocabulary for were spot on. You perfectly parodied so many cliché American movies and sit-coms. (In fact, they’re such shit even Americans have to take the piss once in a while through such films as “Not Another Teen Movie” and the “Scary Movie” trilogy) The “that guy’s such a douche” line was hilariously perfect and I also really loved the “United Kingdom of Great England and Britainshire.”

    I had completely forgotten how good Richard was at impersonating Eddie Murphy (perhaps unintentional but that’s exactly who you sound like). It’s incredible how you somehow embody the voice of a large black man. I think it’s by far your strongest American accent. In fact, I was impressed with everyones’ American accent. The first time I listened to it I actually thought for a second you had somehow spliced together American films and tv show clips until I did a double take of the credits to Gate, Jan and Al Boyagis.

    It is a sad truth for us Americans that (although we would avoid ever admitting it) we do in many ways–particularly in comedy and accents– look up to England, our once colonizing overlords. We can’t help but admire your comedic wit and originality, and relatively cheerful accents.

    But enough flattery. I must also question your choice of American names. Perhaps I am missing something, but to my American ears some sounded far more English than American!

    I now, with genuine hesitation, will share with you a sketch that was recently on Saturday Night Live, one of the oldest and most famous sketch comedy tv shows. Royalists be warned: this may offend you. It features American singer/songwriter, Katy Perry, who since is married to Englishman, Russell Brand she is therefore granted immunity for anything offensive said against England.

    As you said, God Bless America!

    • Thanks for the generous and comprehensive thoughts, Yank, I’m especially pleased to hear that you don’t think we slaughtered the accents or came across as ignorant Britishers. Writing the script I was aware how far aware the lexicon and conventions were from my usual style! And I really wasn’t at all confident about my Eddie Murphy style Mr Owl voice – so it’s especially hilarious that you’ve highlighted that for its accuracy!

      I’m sure Britain contributes film stars with utterly sensible names like Hugh Grant, Alec Guinness and Emma Watson, whereas American actors appears to be peppered with names like Channing Tatum, Jensen Ackles and Shia LaBeouf. BUT I think the joke names say far more about our childish joy at making up silly names than it does about realistically recreating American-sounding names!

      That said, we are clearly indulging in a massive act of hypocrisy as the voice actors for this sketch have increasingly daft names like Richard Dadd, Al Boyagis, and – last but by no means least – Gaetan Uytterhaegen.

      Regarding the Katy Perry SNL sketch, NBC’s online content is “not available in our territory,” however fellow Britishers can see it here on YouTube…

      Never mind offending British royalty, the sketch shamefully dismisses Doctor Who as “pretty good – for England.” Where was your warning about that particular blasphemy, Gerzon!?

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