Archive for December, 2010

Advent Calendar 14 – Gaetan Fails

On the fourteenth day of Christmas, Gaetan gave to us all: Silence

Advent Calendar 13: Espacio Nudage

On the thirteenth day of Christmas, The Bakery gave to us all: some photos that will hopefully be exhibited in Spain. Several weeks ago I was approached by the organisers of an exhibition in Spain called Espacio Nudage. Apparently they really enjoyed the rural theme of my photos (insert Gloucester based in-breeding jokes here) and asked me to submit a selection to put forth to a panel of judges. If I am one of the lucky 10 photographers to be chosen, then these photos below will be printed and hung in The Provencial Historic Archive in Santander, North Spain. You can also view my photos here, amongst all of the other entries: WARNING: PRETENTIOUS WORK SYNOPSIS INCLUDED http://www.espacionudage.com/en/index.php?pry=408&tit=F&menu=F.

Advent Calendar 12: The Bakery Conference 2010

On the twelfth day of Christmas, The Bakery gave to us all: a boring report. The Bakery Conference 2010: A warm bowl in London Town. Hello, it’s Tom German here, writing not under one of my many aliases, but as my undiluted, majestic self. I was originally going to write about Wizardry, and it is still my intention to do so, however in the spirit of not actually writing the blog post I intend to, I thought I would write about the Bakery’s conference that we held this weekend somewhere in greater London. I arrived on the Friday after a particularly torturous week of teacher training, anxious as to what I might find. Would Dan Fryer finally be pursuing a career as an Angler? Would Richard Dadd have taken up Bagatelle professionally? I arrived with more questions than answers. Imagine my relief when I was met by a familiar and friendly bearded face at the train station, in a grey overcoat and a pair of suspiciously fashionable plastic media glasses. I was hailed in a mighty Stentorian roar that drowned out all of London’s traffic and bought a plane down on Selfridges. It was everyone’s favourite Bakery Chef, Pom–Bear...

Advent Calendar 11: Ident-tastic!

On the eleventh day of Christmas, The Bakery gave to us all: Some Idents Inspired by some of the other chefs’ posts of things of a joyous past, I had a little rummage around myself. I managed to dig out item #1: an indent for the dvd release of “Whiteboy Mashup” I believe. The Ident was directed beautifully by Chef Alaric King, however, to my knowledge, has never seen the light of day-  UNTIL NOW! Beautiful. This made me think of other Bakery Identy type things – and it just so happened I had item #2 lying around. A little test I had been playing around with. I hit the big 3D button and got it rendered. So here it is. Short and sweet.

Advent Calendar 10: An old classic

On the tenth day of Christmas, The bakery gave to us all: An old school Rustic Knives classic Apologies all for the extremely belated advent calendar blog post: it was due to a vast array of circumstances, involved a hydra, several incubi, and more than one chimera, and it has kept me away from you all entirely against my will. Well unfortunately due to this very same set of circumstances I have had to also postpone the post I was originally going to put on the blog until next time – however, all is not lost! A few years ago, Chef German and I were in a band together called Rustic Knives, which essentially involved us getting together and harmonising about elves and orcs and generally drinking ale from jars. During this time we recorded a number of tracks together, which I plan to release on the blog (with Chef G’s consent of course) some time in the new year. But before then, I give you this little taster, kindly donated by the Dadd archive of London. It is called Step Aside, and it is the closest thing we ever had to a hit single. Enjoy.

Advent Calendar 9: Wicked Pig – Challenge 3

On the ninth day of Christmas, The bakery gave to us all: A long overdue film for Sty TV Several million years ago, we produced the third in our series of comedy challenges for Sty TV. Instead of being released, our employers have seen fit that it undergoes more re-editing and censorship than a hardcore porn flick at a W.I. charity screening . . . or a 1939 German movie titled “Hitler is a Massive Bender.” Anyway, here, now, is the day we never thought would come: the release of the officially-sanctioned edit of ‘The Wicked Pig Challenges: Episode Three.” Dan and Richard’s comedy double act is on the rocks; Richard is unhappy with the quality of the Wicked Pig films, and wants to do better stuff; Dan is the eternal optimist, and believes he can forge on with the latest challenge. Is this the end for Sty TV? . . .

Advent calendar 8: Oh… And it makes music too.

On the eighth day of Christmas, The bakery gave to us all: An impressive set of lungs I’m a sucker for anything musical. A couple of years ago, an ad agency called DDB made a simple little web-banner featuring a piano that you could play using your keyboard. I couldn’t for the life of me remember what the ad was for but I do remember spending a ridiculous amount of time on it creating a jazzy remix of “chopsticks” as my actual yamaha keyboard gathered dust mere centimetres away. Anyway, this festive season another agency (Karmarama) have created “the cup-size choir”. I don’t know if I was disappointed when I realised it wasn’t a choir made of teacup-sized creatures or positively thrilled to see this: Oh… and you can play with these ladies all you want here. I personally recommend trying to recreate Carl Orff’s “O Fortuna”. It’s not very Christmas-ey but it’s the sound of impending doom that plays in my head whenever I’m faced with beautiful women…

Advent calendar 7: Getting into the CG industry

On the seventh day of Christmas, The Bakery gave to us all: An insider’s guide to getting into the CG industry If anyone is sad like me and is in charge of peoples websites, then they’ll have this superb little thing called Google Analytics running. It basically tells you lots of things about your website traffic and, interestingly enough, keywords people have used in their searches to arrive at your site. At the end of last week the term “Adam Droy” was bringing in some good traffic to the bakery’s website. So to see what all the fuss was about, I searched it myself, and to my surprise I discovered that Chef Adam has written an article for the careers section of the Guardian newspaper! Titled as “An insider’s guide to getting into the CG industry“, it contains such glorious quotes as: Leave your ego and the door and be prepared to take direction from clients and Personally I really enjoy art exhibitions So, here are Adam’s top ten commandments on how to make it in the CG industry, written in his own soothingly superb corporate clichés: “… showreel is your greatest calling card“ “get it out there“...

Advent calendar 6: Christmas jeer (Alien Humbuggery)

On the sixth day of Christmas, The Bakery gave to us all: A Christmas rant from a socially inept conspiracy theorist The Bakery’s very own resident conspiracy theorist, Red Shield has made his way over from ekcapa.org to educate us on the truth behind the festive season. Enjoy. Hello campers. Many would think that I would love Christmas. It is a time of mystery, and I do love mystery. It is a time of wonder, I do love wonder. What I don’t love though, is happy children. It is exactly this kind of ridiculous positivity which has got us into the mess we now find ourselves in. Lets look at the facts: The NWO (New World Order) control: The banks, the military, the weather, my personal life, the sea, space, aliens, the flat bit at the end of a bottle of coke, hangovers, ale that’s sour, losing at pool to a child, lollipop men, baseball caps, chavs, buses, David Cameron and David Lucas after the Return of the Jedi……. Need I go on? Do you want some more? Did you know Christmas is actually, you guessed it, a conspiracy? Set up in 1865 by a conglomerate of Ju Ju...

Advent calendar 5: Like little hugs to the eyes.

On the fifth day of Christmas, The Bakery gave to us all: Salesman Pete It would appear that most of my posts are in moving image form. Keeping true to that, here are some pretty animations I’ve come across recently – all of which, I’m sure you’ll agree, are pretty festive – like dancing cows. Enjoy!